okay time for the weekly blog. first a summary. it started with the weigh in. lbs dropped 3. inches lost in most everyplace except my ass i think ( but lord knows thats gonna take a miracle to shrink ; ) . bmi the same. body fat percentage up by like .5 percent. wtf, right ? like wtf ? however im trying not to dwell on it and may just incorporate more strength training. im not sure.
truth. i bough a scale. truth. i weighed myself today and according to my scale im down in weight. but the best thing is i went to my parents this on saturday after the worx and they kept telling me how skinny i looked. i was like, really ? i jut saw you all like a month ago. i was like i mean i lost 8 lbs.. and apparently that was a big deal. so that makes me happy. but i really want boody fat percentage to go lower bc in this stage of MY journey that is what my focus in on.
emotionally the last half of this week has been HARD, started off wed when i had one of the worst migraines that ive had in months. i also suffer from seizures- and most of the time they are stemmed from extremely bad migraines (for me)- so my neurologist had me come in thursday on an emergency basis. new meds. crazy side effects . but we'll see how they work. then friday rolled around and from my previous emo like post i had some serious drama happen. im still in recovery from that.. trying to push throug it. good news. i did not use food to make me feel better. : )
B- my body seems to be getting smaller. which im a fan. my bras are getting bigger. -_-. lol... my body feels good. minus my head which has been in constant pain past few days. but he fit test... felt great !
L- ive learned that i control how i deal with things. i contol if i use the food as a fuel or an emotional tool. and ive leanred i can do it. i can say no to the things that are bad and stick to my pre made , pre planned, pre calculated meals .
O- everday, everything is changing. it can go from one thing to a total different thing in a instant. its how i deal with it i can control
G- i know ive said it a lot but its something in my personal struggles.... i chose not to use food as soemthing to make me feel better.and this weekend i did great too !
S- next week thurs - sunday i have a confrence type thing. my goal is to pass it !
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
friday vent
its friday. i should be out doing something. i should be training for my upcoming confrence next weekend. i should be playing with my dog. i should be out with friends. i should be alot of things right now. but instead im typing on this blog. why because i need to vent. and frankly, i feel like 2 of my greatest allies just put a dagger in my heart.
how am i going to react to this. well typically, a) id order pizza, cheeseburger and fries, or something like cake.. b) id drink beer, wine, and or liqour and get plastered. but what does doing any of those things solve. nothing. ill feel guilty after. ill feel hungover tomorrow which will prevent my 9:15 worx work out. and ill be pissed at myself.
and something maia typed on fb this morning that has made me think about. nutrition. well honestly its kinda good to know im not the only one who "struggles" with it. because often i feel like everyone else has got it and im slacking . but mainly that i have control of my body. me.. no one else. i control what is going in it. i control my work outs and i control my eating. when i eat clean during the week i feel awesome about it. if i eat crap during the weekends i feel guilty and disappointed about it. so why not choose to feel awesome about my weekend choices to.
i want to change the way i releate to food. i want it to be a fuel for me. not that i cant feel good about eating yummy fuel. but i dont want it to be something that "makes me happy" or "comforts me" when im depressed or sad or whatever. i want it to be something that makes my body happy and helps me tackle my work outs.
well that is pretty much it. sorry for the emo type intoduction lol... but its been a day.
how am i going to react to this. well typically, a) id order pizza, cheeseburger and fries, or something like cake.. b) id drink beer, wine, and or liqour and get plastered. but what does doing any of those things solve. nothing. ill feel guilty after. ill feel hungover tomorrow which will prevent my 9:15 worx work out. and ill be pissed at myself.
and something maia typed on fb this morning that has made me think about. nutrition. well honestly its kinda good to know im not the only one who "struggles" with it. because often i feel like everyone else has got it and im slacking . but mainly that i have control of my body. me.. no one else. i control what is going in it. i control my work outs and i control my eating. when i eat clean during the week i feel awesome about it. if i eat crap during the weekends i feel guilty and disappointed about it. so why not choose to feel awesome about my weekend choices to.
i want to change the way i releate to food. i want it to be a fuel for me. not that i cant feel good about eating yummy fuel. but i dont want it to be something that "makes me happy" or "comforts me" when im depressed or sad or whatever. i want it to be something that makes my body happy and helps me tackle my work outs.
well that is pretty much it. sorry for the emo type intoduction lol... but its been a day.
Monday, July 23, 2012
B.L.O.G.S. # 4
whoops. forgot to do this last night..
this week has been pretty good I'd say. the weekend flew bye. i remeber waking up and 530 am saturday and going to bed last night and thats about all. it was jam packed busy.
today is the weigh in. as tempting as it would be to not eat or drink all day to ensure a "lower" number.... i wont do it ; ) i dont really expect to much of a loss on the number weight wise today. not because i havent been eating clean but mainly because its that time of the month and for me, i can put on anywhere between 3 to 7 lbs of just straight up water weight.. it sucks.. so im hoping more to kick butt on the fitness test.
B- my body is feeling good. i only worked out 5 times this week.. one of the days was a 2 a day.. but it still slacking for me. but with the new dog ive been having to get up early every morning and walk her. and at night to. so an extra 20 minutes x 2 a day certainly cant hurt. also one morning i took her running,,, that was fun
L- i have learned that i really can do it. i generally enjoy fitness but there are times where i am draggin ass after work and making myself come to the work outs.. but when i see my team, my coach, the other coaches, etc pushing themselves it energizes me to push. and to push hard.
O- .... ?
G- i went running for the first time the other day. i though at first i would die... but i really notice my endurance levels and ability to breath have really improved since being with the worx. that was awesome !
S- small goals for the week-- i wanna try some sort o yoga class this week... i need to work on my balance issues !!!
well thats about it !
this week has been pretty good I'd say. the weekend flew bye. i remeber waking up and 530 am saturday and going to bed last night and thats about all. it was jam packed busy.
today is the weigh in. as tempting as it would be to not eat or drink all day to ensure a "lower" number.... i wont do it ; ) i dont really expect to much of a loss on the number weight wise today. not because i havent been eating clean but mainly because its that time of the month and for me, i can put on anywhere between 3 to 7 lbs of just straight up water weight.. it sucks.. so im hoping more to kick butt on the fitness test.
B- my body is feeling good. i only worked out 5 times this week.. one of the days was a 2 a day.. but it still slacking for me. but with the new dog ive been having to get up early every morning and walk her. and at night to. so an extra 20 minutes x 2 a day certainly cant hurt. also one morning i took her running,,, that was fun
L- i have learned that i really can do it. i generally enjoy fitness but there are times where i am draggin ass after work and making myself come to the work outs.. but when i see my team, my coach, the other coaches, etc pushing themselves it energizes me to push. and to push hard.
O- .... ?
G- i went running for the first time the other day. i though at first i would die... but i really notice my endurance levels and ability to breath have really improved since being with the worx. that was awesome !
S- small goals for the week-- i wanna try some sort o yoga class this week... i need to work on my balance issues !!!
well thats about it !
Sunday, July 15, 2012
B.L.O.G.S.# 3-------- some real talk
this BLOGS is gonna be more "real talk" i think. mainly because this week has been hard. i do this thing.. where i start to see results. then more or less self sabatoge. im not sure if its subconciously or what. but i just do it. i think thats why i cant ever get past that certain number on the scale. ill start losing and then all the sudden i think its ok to not be as strict on eating or maybe i just do it because im afraid of actually accomplishing my goal weight. i know that sounds weird. but its true. whats it gonna be like to actually get down to around 145. its been easy just being at my current weight (plus or minus 5 lbs depending on my eating for the week) for the past 6 months . working out isnt the problem.. its nutrition and self sabatoge and guilt. now im not saying that i went ape shit with eating but i think being out of town thursday and friday ( friday with a delayed flight home for 3 hours !!) was difficult. i wasnt around food i have been around . i tried to make the best chioces i could but some where not all that healthy. also i experienced my first "cheat meal " since being on the journey friday night for dinner.... chicage style pizza. and damn it was good. but i felt so guilty after it made it hard on friday to eat right the rest of the day.......
so here its is
B- my body is tired. my knees are killing me !! i dont know why but my joint just ache , i think partially from being cooped up on the plane. a literal 3 hour delay friday. BUT i do feel stronger. i think im getting better on the push ups !
L- ive learned this week that if i mess up once (Even with a planned cheat meal) i really mentally shut down. i dont know why. im still trying to figure that out. i think its because im a perfectionist by nature and hate failure.
O- obervations about change..... its hard for me to adapt. when i went to chicago its freaked me the f*** out food wise. i brought healthy snacks thank god !! but id like not eat because i was to afraid of what they had prepared.
G- well i did make smart decisions in bringing healthy snack options; almonds and apples... which was a step !
S- my goals are to reset and refocus. okay i may have not been "perfect" fri or sat BUT i need to learn and move on. i cant keep dwelling on it. reset and refocus. reset and refocus.
so i guess thats it. i got to figure out why i self sabatoge. or like shut down. but im an all or nothing person. either balls to the wall all in or nothing. so if i mess up a little i just like messes me up. blah.
so here its is
B- my body is tired. my knees are killing me !! i dont know why but my joint just ache , i think partially from being cooped up on the plane. a literal 3 hour delay friday. BUT i do feel stronger. i think im getting better on the push ups !
L- ive learned this week that if i mess up once (Even with a planned cheat meal) i really mentally shut down. i dont know why. im still trying to figure that out. i think its because im a perfectionist by nature and hate failure.
O- obervations about change..... its hard for me to adapt. when i went to chicago its freaked me the f*** out food wise. i brought healthy snacks thank god !! but id like not eat because i was to afraid of what they had prepared.
G- well i did make smart decisions in bringing healthy snack options; almonds and apples... which was a step !
S- my goals are to reset and refocus. okay i may have not been "perfect" fri or sat BUT i need to learn and move on. i cant keep dwelling on it. reset and refocus. reset and refocus.
so i guess thats it. i got to figure out why i self sabatoge. or like shut down. but im an all or nothing person. either balls to the wall all in or nothing. so if i mess up a little i just like messes me up. blah.
Monday, July 9, 2012
the monday blues... not really
usually i dont do to many postings on mondays since i do a pretty long one on sundays, but tonight im inspired. i had a really good night at the worx tonight. both physically and mentally.
not only have i lost weight on the scale.. but i lost inches too ! yay. : ) makes me proud on passing up certain food and alcohol. and makes me proud bustng my butt on these work outs. just gotta reset and refocus so i can keep going strong.
i guess i was mainly inspired tonight because it was awesome having such a huge class ! i loved looking around and seeing everyone doing their best. i dont know i had a lot of energy for class tonight. i was ready to work it. i felt like i did much better on the fit test than the first time. and felt inpowered.
i just think that tonight was great !
not only have i lost weight on the scale.. but i lost inches too ! yay. : ) makes me proud on passing up certain food and alcohol. and makes me proud bustng my butt on these work outs. just gotta reset and refocus so i can keep going strong.
i guess i was mainly inspired tonight because it was awesome having such a huge class ! i loved looking around and seeing everyone doing their best. i dont know i had a lot of energy for class tonight. i was ready to work it. i felt like i did much better on the fit test than the first time. and felt inpowered.
i just think that tonight was great !
Sunday, July 8, 2012
B.L.O.G.S. # 2
well i guess its the end of the 2nd week. what a week its been ! temptation got extra real this weekend. but i do have to say that i can honestly say i stayed strong and remembered my goals.
emotionally this week has been tough as well. besides some medical things i got going on right now, ive had some serious emotionally draining things happen as well. and to me emotions and food have always gone together. i eat to celebrate things, i eat when im sad or lonely, i eat when im depressed, etc.... so its been a good challenge for me this week not to associate emotions with food . for instance, i told myself if i stuck to my diet i would be allowed to go buy a new cute dress instead of like in the past i would tell myself since i did such a good job i can eat that (fill in the blank, usually involving chocolate).... and i did get my cute dress : )
on with the questions-
B - How does your body feel?
my body feels like its getting stronger and better at the worxs. everytime a work out comes during it i sometimes feel like im gonna die (lol), but then come out of it feeling good and strong. my body is a little tired though from all the working out. i worked out 6 times this week- 2 on my own and 4 at the worx. todays worx was the toughest all this week for me . at one point i just wanted to lay on the floor in a pool of my blood sweat and tears but i dug deep and kept going !
L - What have you learned about you? your coach? your team?
my team push and coach push me. sometimes i want to go slower or take a break or whatever, but i look around and see everyone kicking ass... and it keeps me going. i feel proud of us. without my coach and team it would be hard to keep going. i guess ive always known im competative but at these classes i definately feel it come out. even if i can barely move i wanna be the best and do my best...
O - What observations can you make about change?
change can be good. this is the first week where instead of resisting it i just went full into it. it being the worx. one of my goals was to be move involved on facebook and what not... and i have. embrace the change. dont fight it.
G- What small goals can you celebrate?
i made it through parties and holidays with making wise food choices !!!
S - Set your week's goals and plan you week!
this weeks goals....... i have to go out of town on a business trip thursday and friday. need to prepare for that !! and need to make sure at least one of those days i get a work out in !!!
so i guess thats it. im deathly afraid of tomorrows weigh in/ measurements..... im hoping to see some results from my hard work !!
emotionally this week has been tough as well. besides some medical things i got going on right now, ive had some serious emotionally draining things happen as well. and to me emotions and food have always gone together. i eat to celebrate things, i eat when im sad or lonely, i eat when im depressed, etc.... so its been a good challenge for me this week not to associate emotions with food . for instance, i told myself if i stuck to my diet i would be allowed to go buy a new cute dress instead of like in the past i would tell myself since i did such a good job i can eat that (fill in the blank, usually involving chocolate).... and i did get my cute dress : )
on with the questions-
B - How does your body feel?
my body feels like its getting stronger and better at the worxs. everytime a work out comes during it i sometimes feel like im gonna die (lol), but then come out of it feeling good and strong. my body is a little tired though from all the working out. i worked out 6 times this week- 2 on my own and 4 at the worx. todays worx was the toughest all this week for me . at one point i just wanted to lay on the floor in a pool of my blood sweat and tears but i dug deep and kept going !
L - What have you learned about you? your coach? your team?
my team push and coach push me. sometimes i want to go slower or take a break or whatever, but i look around and see everyone kicking ass... and it keeps me going. i feel proud of us. without my coach and team it would be hard to keep going. i guess ive always known im competative but at these classes i definately feel it come out. even if i can barely move i wanna be the best and do my best...
O - What observations can you make about change?
change can be good. this is the first week where instead of resisting it i just went full into it. it being the worx. one of my goals was to be move involved on facebook and what not... and i have. embrace the change. dont fight it.
G- What small goals can you celebrate?
i made it through parties and holidays with making wise food choices !!!
S - Set your week's goals and plan you week!
this weeks goals....... i have to go out of town on a business trip thursday and friday. need to prepare for that !! and need to make sure at least one of those days i get a work out in !!!
so i guess thats it. im deathly afraid of tomorrows weigh in/ measurements..... im hoping to see some results from my hard work !!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
B.L.O.G.S. # 1
okay so week number one went by super fast. i guess i have a hundred different thoughts strolling through my head right now reagarding the week but im going to super summarize it.
B - How does your body feel?
My body feels good honestly. I worked out 5 times this week, only three at the worx : (. my plan for the 4 the work out at boot camp today was put on hold when i had to go meet the insurance guy for my parents house that ended up with 2 trees falling through it from the storm ( they are aon vacation). I worked out four days in a row (mon- thurs) so by the time friday came, my body needed a break. thursdays work out at the worx about killed me.
I started the shakeology thing this week- 1 shake for breakfast. i didnt really get all the hype but i love it. the first few days definately uhh.. cleansed me. but i feel alot less bloated which is pretty nice.
L - What have you learned about you? your coach? your team?
Learn about myself? hmmm... i still have tons to learn ! it sounds weird but i guess since ive been working on weight loss for so long (ie. past couple years with the 115 lb loss)-- sometimes i forget how much i can still learn. all the blogs about different food ideas really has been waaay helpful ! because i knw i get sick of chicken breast every night ! i have also learned that my sweet tooth is still a problem. got find a way to get rid of that . learned about my coach ? she runs... AlOT. i think she (Jenn)- did 9 miles the other day ! she seems like she really cares, and is here to push, in a good way : ). my team ? im not sure if you mean everyone in the journey but ill go with that. they all seem motivated. ive made a couple friends - shout out to amber and linda. -- and the other girl who is on the right side with us. but each of them always push themselves during the work out. and come tired as hell after work - which i usually am. and i love it because it makes me realize everyone is tired but still working towards their goals.
O - What observations can you make about change?
change is hard. im use to going to golds and pushing it out in classes and on the tred mill or on the weights.. going to boot camp instead is hard for me because its outside my bubble. also little things like blogging and facebooking recipes and things like that--- are so NOT me. i have to get better at that.
G- What small goals can you celebrate?
small goal.... hmmmmm. sounds dumb but i bought i bathing suite on friday night. and didnt want to shoot myself after. i figure if its like that now, after ive kicked my last 20 lbs or so will be really happy. so it motivated me a little to keep going : )
S - Set your week's goals and plan you week!
next week main goals- hit the workx 4 times, make sure i post my 5th or 6th work out on the fb, be more involved on the fb, for the 4th of july--- no alcohol !!( thats gonna be hard !) .
my plan is to prepare, prepare, and prepare my meals for the weeek ! like everyone always mentions that definately is the different between failure and success !!
sorry this was such a book !
B - How does your body feel?
My body feels good honestly. I worked out 5 times this week, only three at the worx : (. my plan for the 4 the work out at boot camp today was put on hold when i had to go meet the insurance guy for my parents house that ended up with 2 trees falling through it from the storm ( they are aon vacation). I worked out four days in a row (mon- thurs) so by the time friday came, my body needed a break. thursdays work out at the worx about killed me.
I started the shakeology thing this week- 1 shake for breakfast. i didnt really get all the hype but i love it. the first few days definately uhh.. cleansed me. but i feel alot less bloated which is pretty nice.
L - What have you learned about you? your coach? your team?
Learn about myself? hmmm... i still have tons to learn ! it sounds weird but i guess since ive been working on weight loss for so long (ie. past couple years with the 115 lb loss)-- sometimes i forget how much i can still learn. all the blogs about different food ideas really has been waaay helpful ! because i knw i get sick of chicken breast every night ! i have also learned that my sweet tooth is still a problem. got find a way to get rid of that . learned about my coach ? she runs... AlOT. i think she (Jenn)- did 9 miles the other day ! she seems like she really cares, and is here to push, in a good way : ). my team ? im not sure if you mean everyone in the journey but ill go with that. they all seem motivated. ive made a couple friends - shout out to amber and linda. -- and the other girl who is on the right side with us. but each of them always push themselves during the work out. and come tired as hell after work - which i usually am. and i love it because it makes me realize everyone is tired but still working towards their goals.
O - What observations can you make about change?
change is hard. im use to going to golds and pushing it out in classes and on the tred mill or on the weights.. going to boot camp instead is hard for me because its outside my bubble. also little things like blogging and facebooking recipes and things like that--- are so NOT me. i have to get better at that.
G- What small goals can you celebrate?
small goal.... hmmmmm. sounds dumb but i bought i bathing suite on friday night. and didnt want to shoot myself after. i figure if its like that now, after ive kicked my last 20 lbs or so will be really happy. so it motivated me a little to keep going : )
S - Set your week's goals and plan you week!
next week main goals- hit the workx 4 times, make sure i post my 5th or 6th work out on the fb, be more involved on the fb, for the 4th of july--- no alcohol !!( thats gonna be hard !) .
my plan is to prepare, prepare, and prepare my meals for the weeek ! like everyone always mentions that definately is the different between failure and success !!
sorry this was such a book !
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