this BLOGS is gonna be more "real talk" i think. mainly because this week has been hard. i do this thing.. where i start to see results. then more or less self sabatoge. im not sure if its subconciously or what. but i just do it. i think thats why i cant ever get past that certain number on the scale. ill start losing and then all the sudden i think its ok to not be as strict on eating or maybe i just do it because im afraid of actually accomplishing my goal weight. i know that sounds weird. but its true. whats it gonna be like to actually get down to around 145. its been easy just being at my current weight (plus or minus 5 lbs depending on my eating for the week) for the past 6 months . working out isnt the problem.. its nutrition and self sabatoge and guilt. now im not saying that i went ape shit with eating but i think being out of town thursday and friday ( friday with a delayed flight home for 3 hours !!) was difficult. i wasnt around food i have been around . i tried to make the best chioces i could but some where not all that healthy. also i experienced my first "cheat meal " since being on the journey friday night for dinner.... chicage style pizza. and damn it was good. but i felt so guilty after it made it hard on friday to eat right the rest of the day.......
so here its is
B- my body is tired. my knees are killing me !! i dont know why but my joint just ache , i think partially from being cooped up on the plane. a literal 3 hour delay friday. BUT i do feel stronger. i think im getting better on the push ups !
L- ive learned this week that if i mess up once (Even with a planned cheat meal) i really mentally shut down. i dont know why. im still trying to figure that out. i think its because im a perfectionist by nature and hate failure.
O- obervations about change..... its hard for me to adapt. when i went to chicago its freaked me the f*** out food wise. i brought healthy snacks thank god !! but id like not eat because i was to afraid of what they had prepared.
G- well i did make smart decisions in bringing healthy snack options; almonds and apples... which was a step !
S- my goals are to reset and refocus. okay i may have not been "perfect" fri or sat BUT i need to learn and move on. i cant keep dwelling on it. reset and refocus. reset and refocus.
so i guess thats it. i got to figure out why i self sabatoge. or like shut down. but im an all or nothing person. either balls to the wall all in or nothing. so if i mess up a little i just like messes me up. blah.
Nicole, hitting these times of trial really show us where our weaknesses and strengths are. It's good that you are so honest with yourself and others where you need to improve so we can help you. Travelling while on a strict nutrition plan is always hard. I know it was hard this past weekend for me to be with 14 girls on a beach trip and to be the only one not drinking or eating pizza at 2 in the morning. Don't give up and don't think that one failure will make your goals impossible. Get back up on that horse! I'll see you tonight and make sure you're getting a good workout in to make up for that cheat day. ;)
ReplyDeleteI love the reset and refocus part. We ALL have those moments and even as much weight we lose sometimes, eating healthy is going to be an everyday struggle. Its NOT easy, but when we fall, we HAVE to remember to get back on that horse and TRY harder and know what we have to do to get back in the game. Keep your head up and know that we are all rooting for you and overcoming those temptations is going to take time, but its possible and you know down deep you CAN DO IT!
ReplyDelete