honestly, i am not even sure where to begin on this.
first day i worked out since my 8 seizure attack last weekend was this saturday. ill be honest i was SCARED to death. i was not only scared for myself but lets be honest- really not trying to have one in the middle of boot camp... but it went well!
obstacles come. and obstacles go. at the end of the day its what we do to get over the hurdles. we either choose to to conquer them as slow as that may take or we choose to let them empower us. personally i say fuck that. i am definitely done letting things get in my way.
b- my body currently feels exhausted. not being at the worx for a week then coming back is a little what i imagine getting hit by a semi truck feels like. maia and ashley always kill me(in a good way) in their worx outs. but it feels good to be back on track even if i have to go a little slower
l- ive learned that minor set back dont have to completely derail you. in the past if i got thrown off i would have a tendency just to throw in the towel. . but its not about that. its about fighting. and coming back stronger
o- my o yea moments... my numbers are not dropping on the scale. at the weight in that was laughable. BUT i dropped 2 percent body fat and lost 2 inches around my belly. so that has to count right ? well a few people keep telling me i look like im losing weight.. which im not.. but maybe my body is changing. im not really sure? lol.. but i will take 2 percent off body fat !
g- honestly my goals as everything is winding down... just to finish up strong : ) and continue to see everyone and support everyone as best as i can !.... and im working on eating more veggies ! ( PATRICIA)
as for showing up.... damn. no joke. i see each and every one of your posts. and yall are kicking ass.
!!! keep it up ! people got bum hips, car accidents, crazy work schedules, etc etc.. but everyone is showing and doing this thang !
.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
week # 3. sweet release.
when i decided to do to "redo". i knew i wanted to do it. i knew i was ready to make a change. to fight for something ive lost. and i was determined to do it. no matter what baggage i was holding onto. it just didn't matter anymore. this is definitely a battle of getting my health and fitness back as well as just fight to get me back. at the mixer we did this exercise where we just had to throw everything in the past, everything holding us back behind. we had to really think about it. and really focus and just realize what we were letting determine on what was getting in the way. and then we had to just throw it out. and honestly it felt like 100 lbs just lifted. it really helped make the fire burn even more under my ass. and then picturing where we could be (where we will be). it was just a great bonding experience i think to everyone who was there !
b- my body i think is definitely changing. my upper body strength is getting much better. i am able to last longer on the push ups. and my endurance level is definitely higher . yay!.
l- read above. : ) PLUS ive learned a lot about some fellow journeyers lately, where people have come from and why they are here. everyone has there story. and sometimes there is something about just hearing why people are here and connecting with them- that really brings people together and gives you and new even more found respect to where they are at.
o- my o yea moment was releasing the bullshit that has held me back. like really. and also i am having some problems dropping weight on the scale (medicine issues)- but i mean, yes its discouraging but like since being back on the journey, consistently working out, being back with the community; it hasn't defined me. i don't know if that makes sense because this is the best ive felt in a while .. its actually made me more determined to try and beat that : )
g- my goals this week: attend one yoga class. (yikes.)
Sunday, March 24, 2013
tigers,bears,and seizures, oh my.
this week was a freaking disaster .... challenge.
after the work out monday i was feeling on fire. later that night i started feeling a little funny. went to bed, woke up ready for P90x with the ladies but i couldnt get out of bed. so i fortified the work out and dragged ass to work. early in the morning i was talking to my boss still feeling weird and funny, and all the sudden , apparently i had a grand mal seizure. i dont remember to much of it. apparently i started rambling and mumbling and slurring words, and then it happened. LUCKILY. i work with a neurologist (not the one i see on the regular).. so he knew what to do.
but i went to the ER and got an MRI bc its been a year since i had one. kinda put me in a depressed state bc the neurologist i see was working on lowering my meds bc i have been doing well..and they give me some crappy side effects, etc. but i wasnt allowed to do any cardio until i had another MRI done and go the clear Saturday AM. and no boot camp (bc of the intensity of it) until monday. so i got pretty bummed out .
but im all clear now ! i have to increase my meds again (yuck), but oh well. i played a whole lot of soccer yesterday, did a 5 k today, and went to boot camp today too ( a day early , but took it easy).
b- my legs are sore as hell from all the running from the soccer and the 5 k this morning. but getting back into the soccer has really motivated me to get back into the running to build up the cardio i need t keep up with them boys !
l- ive learned sometimes i do have to listen to my body. i hate sitting on the side lines. i like to push hard. but even on thursday when i did p90x with sarah and nina and told them i was thinking of doing boot camp despite what the dr said they were just like.. uh.. are you serious.. lol.. sometimes i just need to trust my body... so i can come back stronger
o- truthfully, i didnt really have an o yea moment this week : / . i feel like since i was so depressed i let everything kinda slip. nutrition too.. it was tough week. my o yea moment was kinda opposite. like i need to stop sabotaging myself.. so maybe i did ?
g- my goals this week are to refocus myself. i started out right i think.. by working out sat and doing a double today....
i wanna shout out to danielle. we did the run today and it was awesome. those speed demons in front us lol... but we finished : ) and also to nina , the coach. bc she always pushes me to do other things, like p90x at 530 am and 5ks on sundays at 830 am.... she is a great motivator and she should know that : )
after the work out monday i was feeling on fire. later that night i started feeling a little funny. went to bed, woke up ready for P90x with the ladies but i couldnt get out of bed. so i fortified the work out and dragged ass to work. early in the morning i was talking to my boss still feeling weird and funny, and all the sudden , apparently i had a grand mal seizure. i dont remember to much of it. apparently i started rambling and mumbling and slurring words, and then it happened. LUCKILY. i work with a neurologist (not the one i see on the regular).. so he knew what to do.
but i went to the ER and got an MRI bc its been a year since i had one. kinda put me in a depressed state bc the neurologist i see was working on lowering my meds bc i have been doing well..and they give me some crappy side effects, etc. but i wasnt allowed to do any cardio until i had another MRI done and go the clear Saturday AM. and no boot camp (bc of the intensity of it) until monday. so i got pretty bummed out .
but im all clear now ! i have to increase my meds again (yuck), but oh well. i played a whole lot of soccer yesterday, did a 5 k today, and went to boot camp today too ( a day early , but took it easy).
b- my legs are sore as hell from all the running from the soccer and the 5 k this morning. but getting back into the soccer has really motivated me to get back into the running to build up the cardio i need t keep up with them boys !
l- ive learned sometimes i do have to listen to my body. i hate sitting on the side lines. i like to push hard. but even on thursday when i did p90x with sarah and nina and told them i was thinking of doing boot camp despite what the dr said they were just like.. uh.. are you serious.. lol.. sometimes i just need to trust my body... so i can come back stronger
o- truthfully, i didnt really have an o yea moment this week : / . i feel like since i was so depressed i let everything kinda slip. nutrition too.. it was tough week. my o yea moment was kinda opposite. like i need to stop sabotaging myself.. so maybe i did ?
g- my goals this week are to refocus myself. i started out right i think.. by working out sat and doing a double today....
i wanna shout out to danielle. we did the run today and it was awesome. those speed demons in front us lol... but we finished : ) and also to nina , the coach. bc she always pushes me to do other things, like p90x at 530 am and 5ks on sundays at 830 am.... she is a great motivator and she should know that : )
Monday, March 18, 2013
motivated. - intrinsic
okay on to week 2 i think.. right?
all i know is week 1 is done. and i feel great. i havent worked out this much in a long time. and my body misses it. it was hurting .. god it was hurting. but that hurt that you knows feels good. the one that at the end of the day, i know i accomplished something. so yea, that love hate relationship with that soreness. actually it was more like pain. but pain is gain ?
i can already tell its a different motivation this go around. there is definitely a difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. and hell, i may not even got it 100 percent narrowed down but i know i have that fire in me this time. im actually self motivated. dont get me wrong. i definitely need the extrinsic motivation pushing me right now too- but this time im am fighting for me. and it feels good.
b- just finished one of erinne's work out. my arms, shoulders hurts. my abs are in pain. but it feels good. i feel like im aleady a little stronger. from day one to day 7.
l- read above for what i learned. ha. no, seriously. i am learning alot about myself. sometimes, well all the time. i sell myself short.. i need to stop doing that.
o- my o yea moment. god. it was st patty weekend. i love alcohol. yes. i do. i love Irish car bombs. i love knowing the owner at sullivans. i love when my good friends keeps buying me shots. but i also love the fact that i purposely drove us so i would be designated driver. and just watched her take all those shots and drinks. it was painful. god it was painful. but i was proud. and ill be honest a little sad. but hell, its 60 days. to cleanse the shit ive put in my body.
g- my goals this week are to eat more vegetables. and to eat more. a.) im lazy. i would rather drink about 5 shakeologys a day. which actually i think has all my vegetable servings in them ? b) i could live off eggs. and fruit. its hard to cook for just one. im lazy in that way. so the easiest way for me to eat them is just straight up buying bags of spinach and throwing chicken on top and just eating it. i cant get all fancy like some of you ladies : )
i think everyone has been super inspiring in their own ways on the postings ! ive been slacking past few days... but way to go team !!!!! but it was nice meeting stephanie at friday night boot camp !!
all i know is week 1 is done. and i feel great. i havent worked out this much in a long time. and my body misses it. it was hurting .. god it was hurting. but that hurt that you knows feels good. the one that at the end of the day, i know i accomplished something. so yea, that love hate relationship with that soreness. actually it was more like pain. but pain is gain ?
i can already tell its a different motivation this go around. there is definitely a difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. and hell, i may not even got it 100 percent narrowed down but i know i have that fire in me this time. im actually self motivated. dont get me wrong. i definitely need the extrinsic motivation pushing me right now too- but this time im am fighting for me. and it feels good.
b- just finished one of erinne's work out. my arms, shoulders hurts. my abs are in pain. but it feels good. i feel like im aleady a little stronger. from day one to day 7.
l- read above for what i learned. ha. no, seriously. i am learning alot about myself. sometimes, well all the time. i sell myself short.. i need to stop doing that.
o- my o yea moment. god. it was st patty weekend. i love alcohol. yes. i do. i love Irish car bombs. i love knowing the owner at sullivans. i love when my good friends keeps buying me shots. but i also love the fact that i purposely drove us so i would be designated driver. and just watched her take all those shots and drinks. it was painful. god it was painful. but i was proud. and ill be honest a little sad. but hell, its 60 days. to cleanse the shit ive put in my body.
g- my goals this week are to eat more vegetables. and to eat more. a.) im lazy. i would rather drink about 5 shakeologys a day. which actually i think has all my vegetable servings in them ? b) i could live off eggs. and fruit. its hard to cook for just one. im lazy in that way. so the easiest way for me to eat them is just straight up buying bags of spinach and throwing chicken on top and just eating it. i cant get all fancy like some of you ladies : )
i think everyone has been super inspiring in their own ways on the postings ! ive been slacking past few days... but way to go team !!!!! but it was nice meeting stephanie at friday night boot camp !!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
New Journey. New Me.
this is what i like to call my journey. the re do. new outlook. new start. fresh start. fresh me.
i guess im done with holding myself back in a lot of ways. i had a good talk yesterday with a fellow journeyWOMAN. and we both kinda just put it on the table.
yea, shit gets hard. last year and honestly this year has been incredibly hard for me. and emotionally still going through things.. but im done letting it hold me back. im ready to get my health back. and get myself back.
easier said than done sometimes- of course. but here i go- got my journey team and we are going to rock this.
b- my body after the first couple days- i wont even lie. its already sore. i didnt realize how hard todays core worx out was until i went to do something and was like damn, why is my core so sore... oh right. forgot.
the fit test; ha. that was embarrassing . some parts were good, others were embarrassing. i was like what the hell. but i figure i can only go up from here
l- it was kinda funny. i KNOW everything about nutrition. honestly. i could of stood up there and taught that thing. but applying it is a whole other thing. do i eat every 2-3 hours. no. i guess i forget. food is fuel. how will i be able to conquer things like the fitness test if i dont rebuild my muscles. i sometimes have this problem, i wont eat bad. ill eat healthy as hell but like ill drink a shakeology for breakfast then literally wont eat anything all day until 9 or 10 pm when i get home- ill eat like another shakeology or a piece of chicken with veggies. etc. so i need to remember to eat. food is fuel.
o- hmmm well its only been a couple days... my o yea moment was when i went out with friends numerous times and passed on drinking alcohol. because ive made a commitment. no alcohol during this whole journey. which is huge for me. and the weekends are the times i would more than likely drink.. even after working out .and eating healthy. so cheers (to water)
g- goals this week- i would like to up my p90x more than a couple times a week. maybe 4x. which means waking up earlier. also stick to my paleo nutrition plan.
inspiration- kathy really inspired me a lot past couple days : ) we got to have some good talks. and danielle because she is always so damn cheery and positive.. and like that : )
i guess im done with holding myself back in a lot of ways. i had a good talk yesterday with a fellow journeyWOMAN. and we both kinda just put it on the table.
yea, shit gets hard. last year and honestly this year has been incredibly hard for me. and emotionally still going through things.. but im done letting it hold me back. im ready to get my health back. and get myself back.
easier said than done sometimes- of course. but here i go- got my journey team and we are going to rock this.
b- my body after the first couple days- i wont even lie. its already sore. i didnt realize how hard todays core worx out was until i went to do something and was like damn, why is my core so sore... oh right. forgot.
the fit test; ha. that was embarrassing . some parts were good, others were embarrassing. i was like what the hell. but i figure i can only go up from here
l- it was kinda funny. i KNOW everything about nutrition. honestly. i could of stood up there and taught that thing. but applying it is a whole other thing. do i eat every 2-3 hours. no. i guess i forget. food is fuel. how will i be able to conquer things like the fitness test if i dont rebuild my muscles. i sometimes have this problem, i wont eat bad. ill eat healthy as hell but like ill drink a shakeology for breakfast then literally wont eat anything all day until 9 or 10 pm when i get home- ill eat like another shakeology or a piece of chicken with veggies. etc. so i need to remember to eat. food is fuel.
o- hmmm well its only been a couple days... my o yea moment was when i went out with friends numerous times and passed on drinking alcohol. because ive made a commitment. no alcohol during this whole journey. which is huge for me. and the weekends are the times i would more than likely drink.. even after working out .and eating healthy. so cheers (to water)
g- goals this week- i would like to up my p90x more than a couple times a week. maybe 4x. which means waking up earlier. also stick to my paleo nutrition plan.
inspiration- kathy really inspired me a lot past couple days : ) we got to have some good talks. and danielle because she is always so damn cheery and positive.. and like that : )
Sunday, January 27, 2013
week # 3.
still with out car. and my phone broke. and i got really sick. ever think sometimes life just seems to be a bad country western song ?
BUT this week after some serious re evaluation. i decided the hell with it. who cares, right ? just gotta press on. like, sometimes life just suck but its in the time that life sucks the most where the decisions we make determines the kind of person we become. for me- the past 5 months has been life altering. but if i want me back i gotta get back to the basics.. taking care of me. so this week, yes my car has been a pain. so i went to the worx as much as i could and just worked out on my the other days.
saturday i was determined to go for a run no matter if it was snowing or sleeting... so i went . i just did it. i was happy . i was a little disappointed i only ran three miles. then after stating that- was shortly reminded, 3 miles- not to shabby in the least. so whatever- small step to getting that back.
each time i get to go tto boot camp i do get a little stronger for sure.. stamina wise. those high intensities are just that.
i guess thats its.... my goals this week are to keep pushing the best i can.
BUT this week after some serious re evaluation. i decided the hell with it. who cares, right ? just gotta press on. like, sometimes life just suck but its in the time that life sucks the most where the decisions we make determines the kind of person we become. for me- the past 5 months has been life altering. but if i want me back i gotta get back to the basics.. taking care of me. so this week, yes my car has been a pain. so i went to the worx as much as i could and just worked out on my the other days.
saturday i was determined to go for a run no matter if it was snowing or sleeting... so i went . i just did it. i was happy . i was a little disappointed i only ran three miles. then after stating that- was shortly reminded, 3 miles- not to shabby in the least. so whatever- small step to getting that back.
each time i get to go tto boot camp i do get a little stronger for sure.. stamina wise. those high intensities are just that.
i guess thats its.... my goals this week are to keep pushing the best i can.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
week # 2- Honesty.
this is the honest truth.
i feel like i am having soo many obstacles pushing me away from what i thought i wanted. and what i should and need to want. and what i do what inside. which is to find me again. on my last journey i was so motivated,by myself.... and i pushed and pushed. and i wasnt even in the greatest life situation. and in an odd way i think that helped push me. but this is now. and now im in a slump.
the nutrition part isnt the stuggle for me. its the work out part. when im working out its me pushing myself to the max. but getting myself there is the stuggle. first my foot, then my car tires being stolen.... but under it all theres a lack of motivation. and i think its because the last time i was at the worx commited i was here strong and felt strong. but honestly, because ive just let myself go bc of my life situation... i dunno i just feel weak...
i need to find my inner me again. and i dont even know if that makes sense.
but i see my team out there kicking ass.. and it does motivate. and when i am there i do push.
my goals for the rest of the journey are to get comitted. keep my to this PLEASE!!
i feel like i am having soo many obstacles pushing me away from what i thought i wanted. and what i should and need to want. and what i do what inside. which is to find me again. on my last journey i was so motivated,by myself.... and i pushed and pushed. and i wasnt even in the greatest life situation. and in an odd way i think that helped push me. but this is now. and now im in a slump.
the nutrition part isnt the stuggle for me. its the work out part. when im working out its me pushing myself to the max. but getting myself there is the stuggle. first my foot, then my car tires being stolen.... but under it all theres a lack of motivation. and i think its because the last time i was at the worx commited i was here strong and felt strong. but honestly, because ive just let myself go bc of my life situation... i dunno i just feel weak...
i need to find my inner me again. and i dont even know if that makes sense.
but i see my team out there kicking ass.. and it does motivate. and when i am there i do push.
my goals for the rest of the journey are to get comitted. keep my to this PLEASE!!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
week # 1
okay week # 1. came and gone.
a few words about this week. i did not think these work outs were going to be that hard to get back into to be honest. i kinda forgot about the pain and exactly how much internal effort it takes to keep going. its been hard. but each time i get through the work out i sure am damn proud of not only my self but my team mates.
had a little set back this week with reinjuring my foot... but i am still trying to push through.
tomorrow starts the ultimate challenge... school and working full time. but im still determined to get me back.which actually seems to be harder than i thought....\gotta find happiness within myself and learn to be happy with me.
my teamates are all bad ass. each one of them has pushed me in a different way. some towards working out harder, some towards nutrition, some towards preperation. so shout outs to everyone. : )
my goals for this week are to push myself 100 percent during all the work outs and to stay away from all alcohol and to add more veggies and green in to all my meals.
a few words about this week. i did not think these work outs were going to be that hard to get back into to be honest. i kinda forgot about the pain and exactly how much internal effort it takes to keep going. its been hard. but each time i get through the work out i sure am damn proud of not only my self but my team mates.
had a little set back this week with reinjuring my foot... but i am still trying to push through.
tomorrow starts the ultimate challenge... school and working full time. but im still determined to get me back.which actually seems to be harder than i thought....\gotta find happiness within myself and learn to be happy with me.
my teamates are all bad ass. each one of them has pushed me in a different way. some towards working out harder, some towards nutrition, some towards preperation. so shout outs to everyone. : )
my goals for this week are to push myself 100 percent during all the work outs and to stay away from all alcohol and to add more veggies and green in to all my meals.
Monday, January 7, 2013
gettin it back
Hi all. Well here it is... second go around. I havr mixed feelings of excitement, nervousness, humility, and a bunch of other ones all floating around.I did the journey earlier last year and from the outside I thought I was pretty freaking successful to be honest. I lost a lot of weight and got into great shape and felt the best I had felt ever. I gained a confidence in a time where I needed it the most. A time where I was in a very destructive unhealthy relationship. But ive learned success is only measured on how you respond during times of turmoil. And I crumbled
Last year was hands down the hardest year for me and I let it get to me hard. But I'm attempting to get it back. And this is the first step for that.
I need lose weight yes. But to me its more than that... its about getting me back. I love the feeling of being in the best shape of life. Of doing push ups at the same time moving sand bags bc I need more of a challenge. I need me back. I feel like somewhere along the way I've lost that. And I need to regain it.
So that is why I'm doing all this. I hope to inspire every one here and I know you all will inspire me.we will become one big family that helps one another.
Last year was hands down the hardest year for me and I let it get to me hard. But I'm attempting to get it back. And this is the first step for that.
I need lose weight yes. But to me its more than that... its about getting me back. I love the feeling of being in the best shape of life. Of doing push ups at the same time moving sand bags bc I need more of a challenge. I need me back. I feel like somewhere along the way I've lost that. And I need to regain it.
So that is why I'm doing all this. I hope to inspire every one here and I know you all will inspire me.we will become one big family that helps one another.
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